Fail Fail Fail
We’ve all failed at something in our lives. Most likely, we’ve failed at a lot of things in life. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Obviously this is just one of the many, many famous quotes about failure (seriously, there are SO many), but it’s a pretty darn good one. And that brings us to the topic of this article: failure. The failures you’re about to see aren’t huge or life-changing by any means, but they’re pretty bad. By that, I mean that they’re pretty dumb.
Like whoever installed this cabinet, for instance. This would be considered a #fail. This isn’t that bad, though. I mean, it’s not like someone would install drawers if they actually needed storage space. You can always just leave stationary or medical supplies on the floor in a large pile and dig through it Double Dare style when you need something. Makes it way more fun, right?
They Even Put The Roll In Wrong
When you mess up, just admit it and start over. Don’t install pipes and plumbing around your mistake. How did this ever get this far? I just feel bad for the poor people that need toilet paper. That’s quite a difficult reach, to be honest. You may even have to stand up from the toilet to get to it…and that’s just messy. I can tell you for a fact that this contractor did not get any more business from these homeowners.
So Close
Did they replace the floor guy at the very last second? How do you get this close then mess up? This is the exact opposite of satisfying your OCD. It’s cruel, almost. I feel like this wasn’t a mistake, but more of a conscious decision to piss off whoever lived here. Having to see this tile every day would drive me up the wall, so now you know a good way to psychologically torture me.
Oh Dear
When moving into a new home, always check every light fixture. Make sure the lights work, and that they don’t cast shadows you may regret. Trust me.
You Had One Job
This has to be a ridiculously passive-aggressive message to an employer. Right? Otherwise, they misunderstood their job so much they actually had to go out and find bar soap and ignore all the liquid soap lying around for this to occur.
Piling On
Look at all those likes and retweets. People love shaming someone that refuses to proofread. This is why I’m glad I have an editor.
Gnarly Trick
*Record scratch.*
“You may be wondering how I got here. Well, it’s a funny story…”
Be Scared: They’re Allowed To Drive
Apparently, every time you clone them they lose a little more brain and motor function. It’s a shame. We’ll have to take this project all the way back to phase one.
Smells Like Moonshine
Once again, I am so, so very appreciative to my editor. If you know you’re not the greatest with grammar or vocabulary, maybe you should hire a freelance editor. They could save you some psychological scarring.
How’d The Recipe Go So Wrong?
“Relax, baby. You work so hard. I’ll make dinner for us tonight.”
*2 minutes later.*
“Um, let’s just go out for dinner tonight.”
Quitter
This fella decided to cut their own hair and, well… look. Why immediately quit? Go all the way with it. You’d be shocked at the transformative power of some haircuts.
Har Har
That must have been one hell of a joke. I need to hear it. How funny must it have been to make the guy laugh for three to five years or possibly just two with good behavior?
Whomp Whomp
You can almost hear the sad Charlie Brown music. Paint doesn’t actually take that long to dry, but when you’re alone with your thoughts and how you messed up, it can feel like an eternity. A sad, sad eternity.
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