1. Pre-Colonoscopy?
We know you think about pizza, memes, cats and really cute babies quite frequently. Everybody does. That’s human nature. Here’s something that you’ve never really given a whole lot of thought to. It’s the way that letters are spaced in words. And this is a specific art. It’s called kerning. Let’s learn about kerning. It’s the practice of adjusting space between lines of text to make it more visually appealing. Seems easy enough, right? And seems like something you don’t really have to think about? It turns out, this is actually a very, very important practice for our world. And as we’re about to find out, it can go so terribly, terribly wrong.
2. Grab Lube, Booze, And An Enema
If you came home and this note was written by your significant other, it wouldn’t be appropriate. You’d be a little confused. Maybe more than a little confused. Why are they writing you weird messages on the whiteboard? Shouldn’t they have texted this to you? Shouldn’t they really probably never said this at all? But the fact it looks like it’s addressed to elementary school students? Someone better be getting fired. Or they should be getting an important lesson in the art of kerning, because boy, do they really need it.
3. Mood Lighting
I mean, setting the tone is important. No one wants to make love under fluorescent lights. Too much is exposed. This sounds like a worthwhile investment. While we’re at it, we’ll take these as candles, too. Actually, geez, let’s just call the electric department and have them change all of our power options to this. What exactly would that mean? We have no idea, but might as well find out. You never know unless you try. You have to live life on the adventurous side, and we think that this is the first step to doing so.
4. They Have Them To Give
Sign mistakes make the world more hilarious. Then again…what if this isn’t a mistake?
*Eagerly enters store with cash in hand.*
5. Well, Since They Said ‘Please’
This sign is ridiculous. Of course I’d ask for assistance if that’s what I was planning to do. I don’t even know how I’d accomplish that without calling for an adult.
6. Please Don’t
The whole home? With just one? If you can find one that would accomplish that, I’d love to see it, buddy.
7. Lllllladies
I mean, people do use their computer for that purpose. And that does tend to cause a lot of viruses and other PC issues. This logo design isn’t a fail, which is more than I can say for some others.
8. Um… Is This You, Ma’am?
You may have seen this and thought it was a simple mistake. Then you remembered that it had a period. Then you realized these Starbucks employees were cheeky, pun-loving degenerates. They’re lucky their tea is so delicious.
9. Special Delivery
Of course, having too much space between letters can be just as big of an issue. Speaking of things that are big; how big are we talking about, Sign? Enough to, oh, I don’t know… cover a home?
10. Yeah We F***ing Do!
People who use profanity are better than those who don’t. That’s according to science, by the way. So take that, Mom, you *%$#%**$##$%* sandwich!
11. He’ll Thank Us For It
You know how there are shotgun weddings where you force a groom to marry the bride? I guess you can do that with faith, too. Call me new-fashioned, but I think guns should be left out of most relationships.
12. Oh God. How… Did He Break It?
I mean, even when it heals up, you can still use your finger. To start. Then, slide it on in nice and slowly. Don’t forget to pull out when you finish. You don’t want to leave your debit card in the machine, after all.
13. Please Don’t
Ummm…
Nope. I’ve weighed my options, and I’m not gonna touch this one. This is by far the worst first date activity of all time.
14. The Legend Grows, Too
I didn’t realize Walmart became so lenient with the smut in their electronics department. When I was in high school I couldn’t even get Green Day CDs from them because they had curse words. My, how the times have changed.
15. I Mean, We All Do
Is it okay to listen to Chris Brown’s music? That’s a debate that still rages. Is it okay to mock him incessantly? That’s a definitive “yes.”
LEAVE A REPLY