Olive Garden Isn’t That Nice, Dad
Our attention spans are shorter than they have ever been. This shouldn’t come as surprising news. We’re over-saturated with content to a comical degree. Not only are there more T.V. channels, video games and ways and places to see movies than ever before, but we can also do all of this on our phones. That’s right, any time we want, we can reach into our pocket and feed our cravings for entertainment. The temptation is always there, tugging at you. You realize that anytime you’re bored, there might be something better you could be doing. Heck, you might get bored while doing those things. Factor social media into the mix and you have a recipe for a populace that can’t pay attention to anything longer than seven seconds. That’s probably why Vine had to shut down. Maybe if it was five seconds we’d have the mental resources to be able to devote to it. But seven seconds? Come on. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, the best thing to do is take a moment and relax. Inhale and exhale slowly, being sure to focus on your breathing. Then, find something else to focus on… like these fascinating pictures!
If you want to be an Olympic gymnast, you have to start young and train often. This girl is definitely going places.
Oh, And Also Cereal
Can’t forget the cereal. It’s gonna take at least 12,000 proofs of purchase to get a diamond ring from the grocery store. Hope you like Lucky Charms, because you’re going to be eating a lot of them very soon. It’s a good thing you have a wonderful, subtle significant other to help you out with that.
Happy (?) Couple
“Well, he proposed to me using a ring he got from 12,000 boxes of Lucky Charms. He’ll make a great husband and father. Oh, I’m not pregnant. This is just what it looks like when you eat 6,000 boxes of Lucky Charms.”
Business Is Booming
Judging by the eyes, this Poop Factory™ is powered by radiation. Make sure to wear lead gloves when cleaning up after it. Also, make sure to write to your representatives about how it’s illegally dumping in your backyard.
Pot Of Mold
Another day, another internet rainbow obsession. These trends are getting more and more complicated. Whatever happened to just planking? Meme escalation is going to lead to a lot of injuries.
Who Wore It Better?
Either this is one of the biggest coincidences in the history of mankind or this photo was staged. Or maybe their phone case is part chameleon. If that doesn’t already exist, then get on it, Apple.
Pumpkin Personal Pan
The original recipe for pumpkin pie isn’t what you think, but it isn’t pizza pie. If this flavor combo excited you, please seek a medical professional, for you may be terminally basic. (Confession time: I’m terminally basic, and I’m. Not. Sorry.)
Texas Crêpe Massacre
Putting a breakfast dish on your face with your entire family? Adorable.
Putting a breakfast dish on your face with your entire family while posing for a picture where absolutely no one smiles? Unsettling AF. This is the only time I’ve ever seen a dog picture and didn’t feel better afterwards.
Printer-Friendly YouTube
This person’s dad tried printing a YouTube video. What’s even more fascinating is it looks like they almost succeeded. There’s so much to learn and even more to question in this one, crinkly image.
Easter In North Korea
Did you know that if you smush down a marshmallow Easter bunny it looks exactly like Kim Jong-un? Revelations like these are what the internet was made for. That, and comical amounts of dirty videos, though I wouldn’t recommend trying to print those out.
Lester The Lion?
Tony the Tiger is gonna sue somebody. Whatever this is, it definitely doesn’t rank in the best cereals from your childhood. Wonder how many boxes of this brand you’d need to get in order to get a diamond ring.
How Big Exactly?
In this world of 24/7, scary, sensationalist news stories designed to keep us glued to our televisions, it’s nice to see journalism that tackles the stories America needs to know. Thank you, Channel 4. It’s nice you exist amidst a sea of fake news.
Who Says FOX News Never Reports Facts?
But exactly how big are these cats that aren’t dogs? I told you: This is the type of reporting you don’t see enough of in the mainstream media. How is a channel called “FOX” so inept at animal facts?
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