#1
When my cousin was two, her mom got pregnant again. One day she went to hug her mom’s belly and said, “Little brother sick”. A few days later she had a miscarriage.
#2
My 6-year-old daughter was in the passenger seat a few days ago and looked at me and said, “Dad, when I’m seven I’m going to kill you. No wait, when I’m eight.” I asked, “How are you going to do that?” She smiled and said, “I’m gonna drive over your head with this car.”
#3
My 3-year-old daughter was in the bath playing with her toys with me and laughing. Suddenly her face deadpans, she looks me in the eye, and tells me in a serious little voice, “Mummy, if you bit and ate all my fingers off I wouldn’t love you anymore.”
#4
My then 3-year-old daughter walked downstairs in the morning and said, “Look what I can do!” and she crossed her eyes. I asked her how she learned to do that and she said, “The boy taught me at night.”
Me: “What boy?”
Her: “The boy with the glasses.. he did this!” And she held her finger up and zoomed it to her nose and crossed her eyes.
She said he laughed and laughed.
Not too scary, right? Only…. that’s how my brother taught me to cross my eyes when I was 5 years old. He died when I was 7.
#5
Not a parent, but a former teacher.
I taught English in a school in Spain, and I wasn’t supposed to let the kids know that I speak Spanish so that they were forced to communicate in English. A 10-year-old girl comes up to me one day, grabs me by the hand, and says, with the most horrifying, straight face ever, “Te vas a la muerte”, or “You’re going to die.”
I was so shocked at the randomness of it that my jaw must have dropped. She then laughed her head off and said, “HA! You DO speak Spanish!” She then skipped away, laughing and smiling.
Creepiest thing a kid has ever said to me. And probably the most clever thing a kid ever did while I was a teacher.
#6
My four-year-old son said, “Daddy, I want to drill into your tummy, crawl inside and eat your dinner.” The food was ok but I didn’t think it was worth that much effort.
#7
When my son was small, I was talking to him about growing potatoes. I described how you bank up the earth around them as they grow, and he said, “I used to do that when I was an old man.”
#8
My mother-in-law was picking my son up from school because I had some things to do. She was supposed to just drop him off (I really dislike that horrible woman), but instead he comes running through the door and yells, “Daddy I invited grandma for dinner.”
#9
I was explaining to my niece the difference between things that can and can’t change about people. She was confused because she’d met a set of three siblings and the eldest wasn’t the tallest.
So I told her that one day even SHE, an itty bitty four-year-old could be taller than me, a big huge grownup. But even if she was taller, I would always be older.
She looked me very seriously and said, “You’ll be dead sooner too.”
#10
“When you turn off the lights, that’s when the black circles come. They come down like this (holds his hands in the air above his bed), and they stay for a second, then zoop! they go inside! (slapping the hands to his chest).”
Then, barely holding back tears, “I hate it.”
#11
I was with my sister, her husband, and their two-year-old daughter. We were talking about loved ones who had recently passed. My brother-in-law went and grabbed a picture of his mother, who had died in a car crash when he was six, to show me. When my niece saw the picture though, she started laughing. We asked her what was so funny and she looked at us and said. “That’s my special friend who sings to me”. I still shiver a bit just thinking about it.
#12
We were driving down a dark, snowy highway late one evening. It was the final stretch of a 16-hour-long road trip. My son, who was around 4 or 5 at the time, was in the back seat and becoming a bit restless. He suddenly covered his face with a blanket and announced loudly, “I don’t want to get glass on my face!”A few moments later, a pickup truck towing some snowmobiles pulled out in front of a tractor trailer a few cars in front of us and got hit, spinning out into the median. Fortunately, we avoided the accident completely. It was indeed a bit creepy, though, almost as though he predicted there was going to be an accident right in front of us.
#13
I had to share a room with my 4-year-old for a few weeks. “Mummy when you were sleeping, I woke up and there was a ghost with no face standing over you touching your arm, it was taking your dreams out of your body with its mouth.”
#14
I can’t remember if she was 3 or 4, but our little daughter’s voice peeped up from the back seat one morning:
“Dad, do babies bathe in blood?”
#15
My young daughter said she made a new friend. Her mother and I are like, “Cool hun, what’s her name?” It’s Casey Junior. So then we ask when we can invite her over to play. My kid says we can’t because she’s dead…
Later that night, after putting my daughter to bed, I hear laughter and talking coming from her room. I go to investigate. As I get to the door, I hear my daughter say, “No Casey, stop tickling me!” amidst bouts of giggles. I walk into the room quickly, not knowing what to expect. There is just my daughter in the room and no one else.
#16
My son always says odd things. Usually they’re funny but this one threw me for a loop. He is 8. I was telling him how much I love him and thanks for being in my life. He said, “I didn’t choose this life. I couldn’t control how it began. But I can control how it ends.”
#17
By nighttime, he became convinced he was possessed by his dead brother’s ghost. He said, “I’m back, my wife!” and told her they needed to go to the bedroom to celebrate. He also tried to take a swing at me before we escorted him out and got him a cab.
About six months later, we had moved to another town. My wife’s son had a fever, and he kept waking up crying and yelling, “Too scary! Too scary!” We let him sleep in our bed, and he would wake up, pointing to the side of the bed by where my wife slept and say, “Scary man! Scary man!”
Finally he recovered, and his fits died down. Until one day, my wife showed him a picture of his biological father.
He started crying. He pointed at it and said, “Scary man!”
#18
When my niece was around three or four years old, she told me she used to have a baby but it drowned. The baby was called Peanut Butter, but still.
#19
My mom died when I was 19. When I’m having a bad day, I often find myself wishing I had my mom to talk to. I was having one of said days when I was putting the girls I babysit to sleep. Before I left the room, the 4-year-old sits up and says, “[My name], there’s a face behind your face.”
I asked her for clarification. “What do you mean there’s a face behind my face?”
“There’s a lady standing behind you,” she said, “and her head is on your shoulder.”
“What does she look like?” I asked her. “She’s looks like you but a lot older,” she responded.
People had always told me how much I looked like my mom.
#20
I’m not a parent, but as a young child (age 3-5), I would sleepwalk into my parents’ room and stand by their bed quietly. My dad would wake up, find me and try to put me back to bed. I would tell him I couldn’t go back to bed, because “the tall men are walking.” This stopped immediately after moving from that particular house (the tall men comments stopped, the sleepwalking continued and still happens).
Then, when I was around 15, we were at church one day and I overheard one of the younger kids ask his parents as they walked away, “Who are those men?”
“What men, honey?”
“The tall men with [my name].”
I didn’t sleep well for a couple of nights after that.
