It can be pretty difficult to know how to attract a member of the opposite sex, or alternatively, how to keep them intrigued if you’ve already managed to pique their interest.
That’s why online publications will often create lists of dos and don’ts in relation to how best to attract a potential partner.
However, when one woman wrote an essay on what men find unattractive about women, many of the ladies who read it had a bit of a bone to pick with her about it.
Here’s a handy little break down of the essay, but try not to take it at face-value:
1. Wearing too much makeup
“Keep it natural. Men don’t want to go in for a kiss and come out looking like they just joined the circus. Remember, foundation is supposed to be invisible to others and blend in with your skin. Stay away from glittery or shimmering eye makeup and NEVER use clumpy mascara. Minimal makeup is sexier.”
My alternate opinion: While it is true that a number of men feel that there is such a thing as too much makeup, the idea that this applies to all men just isn’t accurate. Also, women don’t wear makeup just for men…
Besides, by a certain age, many women will have found a way to apply their makeup in a way that makes them feel comfortable and in a way that makes them feel most attractive. The fantastic thing about makeup is that it’s so incredibly diverse – so there shouldn’t a uniform way of applying it.
2. Making an effort with your hair
“While a fancy hairstyle may be ok for a glamorous night out, men prefer natural-looking hair. It’s more attractive to look at and feels nicer to touch when it’s free of gels or sticky products.”
My alternate opinion: Again, your own personal style is for you and you only. If potential partners happen to find it attractive then great. If not, that’s also fine – there is someone out there for everyone and no one should have to conform to an ideal so that men will “fawn” over them. Being true to yourself is much more attractive than conforming.
3. Not shaving the hair on your body
“For the love of all that’s smooth — please shave. Men associate hair with testosterone and testicles so they don’t want to see it on a woman. Men like touching soft skin so say bye bye to the fuzz and make sure you use moisturizers and lotions to keep your skin smooth. It will send the message that you care about your hygiene.”
My alternate opinion: Shaving is time-consuming, it can take a lot of energy out of you, and it’s just plain boring. Also, why should we be expected to constantly ensure that our bodies almost entirely hairless?
“Men associate hair with testosterone and testicles” – well, that’s because after years of shoving this propaganda down our throats men and women have been conditioned into believing that being hairy is inherently unwomanly which just isn’t true.
4. Doing anything that is bad for our teeth
“Let’s face it ladies — men look at our mouths. Bad breath and discoloured teeth are unattractive to the opposite sex. Cut down on the coffee or red wine. Use whitening toothpaste or strips to brighten your smile and ALWAYS carry gum or breath helpers in your purse. You never know when that kiss may be coming.”
My alternate opinion: Yes, it is true that coffee and many other beverages aren’t exactly beneficial for our teeth. But I’ll be damned if you want me to get out of bed in the morning without the prospect of a nice hot coffee to start off the day.
Also, aside from water and milk, which drinks are actually good for our teeth?
“You never know when that kiss may be coming” – Really? Is the author’s life an actual Hollywood movie?
5. Drinking too much alcohol
“Sure, a man likes to hang with a woman who knows how to have a good time but know when enough is enough. No man wants to see a woman puking in the bar bathroom or falling down on the dance floor.”
My alternate opinion: Well, state the obvious why don’t you? No person – man or woman – finds drinking oneself into oblivion attractive.
The thing is when you’re young it tends to be the done thing. It’s pretty hard to spend four or more years at college and not get extremely drunk and make a total fool of yourself at least once.
6. Being negative
“Men like happy, positive women. So don’t complain about the lack of service at a restaurant or how long you had to wait in a line. Show your upbeat personality.”
My alternate opinion: Now this is just ridiculous. Sometimes annoying sh*t happens and just like any other human, women sometimes need to let off steam about it. Of course, constant negativity and bitchiness is draining and completely unnecessary, but pretending everything’s just fine and dandy is just fake. Pure and simple.
7. Swearing too much
“Men like ladies with a little class so dropping the f-bomb in every sentence is a turn-off and does not show how sophisticated you really are.”
My alternate opinion: Again, everything in moderation. Yes, swearing nonstop can, admittedly, be a very unattractive trait. But that applies to both sexes. Swearing can come off aggressive, but it can also be fun and playful. Also, dirty talk often involves using colorful language and I’m pretty sure most guys are into that.
8. Nagging too much
“No one wants to be told over and over again that they are doing something wrong. Choose your battles ladies. If they leave the toilet seat up, quietly put it down. If they don’t shave for a couple of days, deal with it. Let him hog the remote control once in awhile. Remember, there are probably things they don’t like about you too.”
My alternate opinion: Yes, constantly being nagged at is pretty sh*tty. But if something’s bugging you about your other half, you shouldn’t have to take it on the chin. You should tell them in a reasonable and respectful manner what your concerns are.
Also, “If they don’t shave for a couple of days, deal with it” – is this lady being serious? So, she thinks that us women should feel pressured to shave practically every part of our bodies yet the same shouldn’t apply to men?!
9. Being too needy
“Don’t ever drop your girlfriends and family for a man. Being too dependent on your man to make you happy is a turnoff. Expecting him to change to meet your needs is also very unattractive. They want to be loved for who they are.”
My alternate opinion:: Wow this sh*t is pure irony. “Expecting him to change to meet your needs is also very unattractive” – is it now? Because I was under the impression that changing every facet of your being was the only way to be attractive to someone.
