10 Better Brutally Honest Names For Disney Characters
1. Pocahontas
No nose, wary of outsiders – yep, Pocahontas is just a sexier version of Voldemort.
2. Aladdin
I’m sure those pants are a thing, but they straight up look like a giant ballsack.
3. Gaston
Self-aggrandizing, dismissive of others, and with a portly pal who does whatever he says (LeFou is Chris Christie), Gaston is the Donald Trump of small French villages in the 1700s.
4. Mickey Mouse
Of the things Mickey Mouse actually looks like, “mouse” might not even be in the top 20. He’s got a noticeable widow’s peak and two weird circles that just look like part of his hair, so let’s stick with Paul Ryan manbuns.
5. King Triton
It’s a little weird Triton is so ripped – for one, he’s pretty old. And secondly, it’d be REAL hard to get jacked and work out when you’re underwater. The net result is him looking like some Dwayne Johnson fish with a Santa Claus beard, which is too weird of a look to ignore.
6. Philoctetes
That is just Danny DeVito, Disney animators. You didn’t change a single thing.
7. The whole cast of Disney’s Robin Hood.
It’s weird how Robin Hood is just the entire cast of The Jungle Book going to a renaissance faire, right?
8. Frollo
Ian McKellen + Hellfire (Disney’s best movie song, period) = Frollo
9. Basil of Baker Street
To be fair, Benedict Cumberbatch DOES kinda look like a mouse-human hybrid already.
10. Snow White
No nose, goes into hiding to protect themselves – yep, Snow White is just a less sexy version of Voldemort.
Source – CollageHumor
