The holidays are great and I absolutely love this time of year, but even I am sick and tired of people who ask the same old boring family questions.
So how about a wrench in the works? This guy has quite the bargain for you. Wesley Peterson is offering “Guess who’s coming to dinner” family service on Craigslist.
Imma gone head and throw my bid in:
Are you a cool white girl with a RACIST ass immediate or extended family? Do you need to fuck the holidays up one time? Do you need a “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?” situation, but less “Sidney Poitier” and more “Ving Rhames in Baby Boy”? Hire me as yo #ThanksgivingBae. The regular package of me pullin up in grey sweats, an X hat, and an African necklace is gas money and a functioning microwave (I brought my own plate, I’m not eatin your Nana’s Easy Mac casserole, fuck all that), but there are several additional packages to choose from!:
-Tell your parents I met you at a YG concert and slap yo booty everytime you get up from the table: +$10
-Sneak in “Black Lives Matter” in every discussion, daring someone to check me: +$12
-Run up on your pedophile uncle: +=13.14
-Call Trump a bitch and get mad that yall only have Coors Light: $16
-Set a handgun on the table before saying grace: +=$50
Call Now!
Who wouldn’t wanna call this guy!?
People were cracking up at Peterson’s post.
