1. Trade-Off
Think about your beautiful girlfriend. You know you’ve found the one when they act as the Yin to your Yang, and you can accentuate each others’ positives and still love them in spite or even because of their negatives. That just might be the secret to any great relationship.
Like the way that you both keep your cars. You know that your girl lives in her car. And that’s okay. As long as she understands that your car is first and foremost in the relationship. Wait, did we just say that? No, of course your car isn’t that important. Geez. Moving on.
2. Ore-no
Some girlfriends have no regards for the rules of a proper, functioning society. If you’re willing to put up with this kind of madness, then that is true love. You can overlook these terrible deeds and still somehow tell her that you love her more than anything else in this world. Even a box of Oreos that is eaten in the proper way that normal human beings should eat them.
(Though you should still have a long, long chat about why this is never okay. Just buy a tub of frosting, for goodness sake. Or maybe you should re-consider everything about your relationship entirely.)
3. Walked In On Girlfriend Like This
No wonder they get mad at us. They can check Facebook, do research, find pictures of cute, teeny tiny animals and enjoy a nice glass of wine all at the same time, and we can’t even single-task by focusing on the story they try to tell us about their day at work. It seems like life isn’t fair. Men have been dealt with less of an ability to multi-task. And women sometimes have a hard time understanding that idea. Not all the time, but sometimes it really gets in the way of trying to communicate. Even though you’re doing it on three devices at once.
4. ‘Your’ So Brutal
Hey, at least he only made a grammar mistake in a text message instead of in a tattoo. Then again, that would show he knows how to commit, so maybe that’s not the worst thing in you’re relationship after all.
5. Stars Aligned/Lying
Honestly, I’m happier when she’s mad at me because of “the stars.” At least that way I can tell myself it’s not really my fault. But the stars should really cut me some slack, because this keeps happening.
6. Touché
Touché, girlfriend. I will try to be more considerate in matters of the tushy. Sometimes, they have to hit us with hard love to make us learn…though we likely never will.
7. Surprise
Ever try to give your girlfriend a romantic surprise, only to find out you messed up? Like, say, I don’t know… finding out your girlfriend is afraid of heights by surprising her with a trip on a Ferris Wheel?
8. Girlfriend Simulator
If your girlfriend is ever out of town and you miss the feeling of sleeping next to her in bed, here’s a helpful D.I.Y. Girlfriend Simulator. It’s eerily, frustratingly accurate.
9. Taking A Weekend Trip
“I figured we were only going to be gone for three days, so I decided to pack light.”
[Worries incessantly about what packing for a week-long trip would look like.]
10. Let The Girlfriend Win
This guy’s drunk girlfriend got pretty upset when he beat her at Connect Four.
Look, you don’t have to let her win, but at least give her a sporting chance. Look at that board. This guy was merciless.
11. Pipe Dream
His girlfriend came to him and said they needed to have a talk after she found this “pipe.”
I’m sure it didn’t help when he explained he only used this to help him deal with pressure.
12. Holding It In
Would any list like this be complete without a fart joke? The answer to that question is no, so you’re welcome. No list ever is completely without a fart joke, actually.
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