Frustrated Husband’s Left A Detailed Bathroom Rules For Messy Wife & It’s Hilarious AF

Living with another person can be a challenging experience.
And if they’re your significant other, it’s as fun as it is hard. For example, how can you be mad at them and throw a fit when they make you breakfast or keep food on the table?

That’s a trick question, because a husband has recently figured out the key to handling certain bathroom rules.

The trick is intense passive-aggression.

He wrote her a letter.
To my darling Rosie,
Babe, can you remember 20 days ago, you said, “babe, I know my bathroom habits really piss you off, but I am going to change this year I promise!” Unfortunately, not much has changed. In fact, it’s worse, to the point that I now suffer from Bathroom Surprise Anxiety.

I thought the idea of twin vanities in, meant we got our own – you know, His and Hers. Why is it then, that my vanity basin has become a permanent storage container for your make-up brushes, bottles, lipsticks and whatever other ‘girl-magic’ you practice?

You have 4 drawers and I have 1. Do you have some sort of Drawer FOMO that incites you to invade my only drawer area? Granted I do have the top-drawer vanity—and this is so I don’t have to bend down as far to get MY things; remember I am 6ft effing 6, compared to your 5ft 7, and I have 2 titanium hips, so bending isn’t my strong point.

And so, outlined the etiquette that was now expected of her.
Let’s talk about the actual Bathroom Contents and Hygiene:

The Toothpaste: How effing hard is it to put the lid back on the tube so that when the next person (i.e. me) comes along to use it, it’s not dry and conjealed like roadkill. Do we need his and hers toothpaste?? If I didn’t love you quite so much I may just be tempted to sabotage the toothpaste with some foreign matter (up to your imagination) to teach you a lesson.

It wasn’t just toothpaste he had a problem with.
American Crew Fibre — This is a male product (and I don’t give a shit about political correctness, it’s a bloody male hair product), yet I continually find your paw prints inside it with lid of course nowhere to be found, so when I need to use it, it is like a cross between panel beaters bog and polyspak filler instead of a beauty textured paste.

She also liked his deodorant.
Deodorant – 3 words, Use Your Own!!!
And never put away towels!
Bath towels – they belong on the hooks not on the floor! For your well-educated benefit, the Oxford Concise dictionary defines HOOKS as the device that protrudes from the wall for you to hang things on.

Razor etiquette.
MY Razor – My grandpa told me that the blokes should never ever share razors, I wonder what the old man would have said about a man’s wife using his razor?
The bathroom bin fairy.
Bathroom bin — tell me honestly, do you believe in some sort of bathroom bin fairy? We have been together for 8 years = 416 weeks, with the bin emptied once a week by me = 416 by me and donuts, zero, Roy Orbison by you ….. any chance babe?
Royal flush.
The Flush – contrary to your belief that flush is the term describing a winning hand in poker, the Flush is also a plumbing term. Look it up. Practice it.
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH – PLEASE CHANGE BATHROOM HABITS
You can view the original letter here!