In several recent Reddit threads, people were asked to share stories of the most embarrassing things their parents walked in on them doing, and the results were a veritable feast of secondhand embarrassment.
“Had a buddy whose dad caught him pantless and bent over with a Pringles tube pressed against his butt. Friend froze and his dad just turned and closed the door. He was trying to fart into the Pringles tube so that when his brother opened it, he would get a face full of fart.” (RogerDeanVenture)
“I was playing with our ladder in the backyard.
I had taken my hockey goal apart and was using the net like I was a gladiator and some of the plastic tubing as some sort of melee weapon. The ladder was a giraffe.
I netted it, beat it into submission and then rode it. Eventually, I picked it up like I was a wrestler and was spinning around.
My dad saw the whole thing.
I was 16.” (Sonendo)
“Lighting paper on fire and running through the house … I thought I was home alone. The worst thing about it is that I was sixteen.” (cdv21)
“When I was 9, I had dropped my Barbie in the piece of cake I was eating, so I decided the best approach to cleaning it was to lick the cake off. So, there I was, licking cake off this Barbie doll’s face and breasts and my mother comes in to ask if I finished my cake.” (LPfor3v3r)
“My mom came in my room one time when I was wearing nothing but my underwear and I was stuffing a bag full of Mardi Gras beads down my pants.” (lonelypaperclip)
“I used to chew my toenails. My mom busted me doing this numerous times – I always (and I mean ALWAYS) tried playing it off that I had a hangnail and it hurt and I didn’t know where the fingernail clippers were.” (DranoDrinker)
“When I was twelve, my mom found the tape measure in the bathroom. My dad couldn’t keep a straight face when she was yelling at me for never putting things back, which only made my mom angrier as she couldn’t connect the dots.” (lincunguns)
“One time when I was sick, my mom came in my room right as I threw up and pooped my pants at the same time.” (Pey-day)
“One night when I was about 7 years old, my dad, brothers and sisters and I were sitting on the floor laughing and joking and having a good time. My dad told us how spectacular it is that if you talk into someone’s butthole, and the person who’s butthole is getting spoken into mouths the words, it’s as if they were the ones talking! My brother and I looked straight at each other in pure amazement and ran up to our room … A few minutes later, my dad came up to say goodnight (he thought we were going to bed), instead, he walked in on me talking into my brother’s bare a**hole and my brother soundlessly mouthing words with enthusiasm.” (hamisdie)
“Does accidentally sending a text saying “my mom is being a b****” to my mother count?” (Beerisradical)
“Walked in on my son gnawing on his aunt’s vibrator. We were visiting from out of town and he was exploring the house, found it on her bedside table and walked out chewing on it.” (Arianafer)
“Like many sports fans, I’d play imaginary baseball in my yard. I was about 7 or 8 when my parents witnessed this. I’m coming around to score and get called out, but I clearly beat the tag, so I argued with the umpire (argument lasted about 5 minutes) and was ejected, which made me angrier. My mom watched the entire debacle from her window.” (awsears25)
“I had a few friends over one day. We made a gravity bong and were using it in my room when the light went out. I said, “F****** lighter’s out.” Little did I know my mother had been standing there for about 10 seconds staring at me trying to hit this thing. She repeats, “F****** lighter’s out, huh?” … As you can imagine, it didn’t end well.” (HighLikeAladdin)
“I was probably in middle school or early high school and I was chatting on Yahoo Messenger to this older guy and it turned to “cybersex”. We’re typing back and forth for probably a good 30 min when my dad yells at me from downstairs to come out. Turns out I had been logged on to his laptop simultaneously and he was able to see the whole conversation. I tried to play it off like it must have been someone else logged on my account. I’m pretty sure he knew and I still cringe just thinking about it.” (blondechcky)
“I’d always had the habit of going to the toilet in my sleep, half sleep-walking.
One night when I was eight, I did so as usual. I got up, went to the toilet, sat down and started my business.
For some reason, my mother came in after me and started shaking me. She then started pushing me towards a seat. Confused, and half asleep, I did so.
Turns out I never originally made it to the toilet. Instead, I took a s*** in the middle of the carpeted hallway. She was actually trying to guide me to the toilet.
Not the most dignified moment of my life.” (Shadefox 535)
“Getting caught by my dad with a cigarette the same year he lost his mother to lung cancer. We were camping, and he was coming to the island’s big fire where all the people out in the dock have beers for the night. He was bringing me one. He didn’t say a word about it.” (stevedusome)
“As a big sister, I once found my brother about to brush his teeth … using my grandmother’s tube of hemorrhoid cream instead of toothpaste. In his defense, the tubes looked similar. I still remind him of it at every opportunity.” (♀jtherion)
“Eating rocks off the ground.” (FreeShavacadoo)